Growing up in my family wasn't exactly what I would call easy. And neither were the relationships. My father was a total abusive alcoholic, and without going into detail my mother and I didn't have much of a relationship for quite awhile. I was close to my grandmother and believed that she was the only one who loved me. I was lost without her for a long time after she passed away.
My father passed away in my early 20s, he was only 42, of severe Cirrhosis of the liver. And it wasn't until a couple of years after that that I worked through serious issues from my childhood. I had a lot of anger and resentment, and with my father gone, I took it all out on my mother. I held her responsible for a lot, and maybe I still do a little, but I understand her and her choices better now. And I've lost the anger.
I grew up believing that my mother and I couldn't ever have a bond or connection. But ironically now, as a mature adult and wife and mother, my mom is who I can count on the most. My mom is the one I can count on for compassion when I need it. My mom is the one who will do her best to try to help me when I need it. That isn't saying that there isn't another person who would help me in my time of need, but my mom tries the hardest. If I need help with anything, I don't have to plead my case to her or beg. If I need to money or I need help with my kids, she doesn't make me plead my case or beg, and she typically has less than we do. She just does what she can.
My cousin, who I love very much decided to get married in Hawaii this month. She's my Jessie. I took care of her when she was little. The thought of her getting married without me made me very sad. So after discussing it with my husband, we decided I should go. I needed help with my kids, because I couldn't take them with and my husband had to work. He couldn't take the time off to go with me, and he needed help with our kids while I was gone.
I asked a few people for help. My sister was willing to do it, but it was a big inconvenience for her, and I really needed someone who could come to our home. So I called my mom. She has a full time job. She lives paycheck to paycheck. Money is always tight for her. She didn't make me plead my case. She didn't make me beg. She didn't give me excuses. She just said yes. She took a week off work and came down to stay with my kids while I went off to Hawaii. In doing that, she relieved me of a great deal of stress, and she made me realize even more how much I can count on her. And that is what family really is about. Being there for each other.
My kids had a great time with grandma and they even miss her now that she is gone. She has grown so much as a grandmother and even as a mother. I really appreciate her and the sacrifices she made to help me out. We've come a long way, mom. I love you.
My father passed away in my early 20s, he was only 42, of severe Cirrhosis of the liver. And it wasn't until a couple of years after that that I worked through serious issues from my childhood. I had a lot of anger and resentment, and with my father gone, I took it all out on my mother. I held her responsible for a lot, and maybe I still do a little, but I understand her and her choices better now. And I've lost the anger.
I grew up believing that my mother and I couldn't ever have a bond or connection. But ironically now, as a mature adult and wife and mother, my mom is who I can count on the most. My mom is the one I can count on for compassion when I need it. My mom is the one who will do her best to try to help me when I need it. That isn't saying that there isn't another person who would help me in my time of need, but my mom tries the hardest. If I need help with anything, I don't have to plead my case to her or beg. If I need to money or I need help with my kids, she doesn't make me plead my case or beg, and she typically has less than we do. She just does what she can.
My cousin, who I love very much decided to get married in Hawaii this month. She's my Jessie. I took care of her when she was little. The thought of her getting married without me made me very sad. So after discussing it with my husband, we decided I should go. I needed help with my kids, because I couldn't take them with and my husband had to work. He couldn't take the time off to go with me, and he needed help with our kids while I was gone.
I asked a few people for help. My sister was willing to do it, but it was a big inconvenience for her, and I really needed someone who could come to our home. So I called my mom. She has a full time job. She lives paycheck to paycheck. Money is always tight for her. She didn't make me plead my case. She didn't make me beg. She didn't give me excuses. She just said yes. She took a week off work and came down to stay with my kids while I went off to Hawaii. In doing that, she relieved me of a great deal of stress, and she made me realize even more how much I can count on her. And that is what family really is about. Being there for each other.
My kids had a great time with grandma and they even miss her now that she is gone. She has grown so much as a grandmother and even as a mother. I really appreciate her and the sacrifices she made to help me out. We've come a long way, mom. I love you.
3 comments:
Very sweet Kathy! I feel the same way about my mom. Glad you were able to go to the wedding!
That made me teary eyed. That's so sweet of your mom. Not all moms would do that, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing that.
So good to be back blogging and this really spoke to me! Still here for you. we need to reconnect! Play date? Love you girl.
((hugs))
Brandee
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